The Cult of Twitter

The first rule of Twitter: you do not talk about Twitter.

The second rule of Twitter: you do not talk about Twitter.

The third rule of Twitter: Your followers and the people you follow do not exist outside the realm of Twitter.

The Fourth rule of.....well you can see where I'm going with this. You're probably thinking "What does this amusing allusion to the deliciously violent Fight Club have to do with Twitter?" Well, when you think about it, quite a lot actually. Just the other day I was sitting chatting with a friend, when out of the corner of my eye I saw something that made my blood run cold; in what seemed to be my direction, one of my Tweeples was rapidly approaching. This gave rise to a problem: a breach of the Twitter protocol. Again, you're likely to be asking yourself "What the hell is the Twitter Protocol"? Well, it is an unspoken rule which states that just because we ReTweet each other, does not make us friends in the real world. A sad fact, but a fact nonetheless.

While not much of the online socialite (My FaceBook has been deactivated for months), even I find appeal in the constant barrage of status updates that is the Twitterverse. It's simple enough; set up an account, scan a cute childhood snapshot for your profile picture and tweet away! You can enjoy following your favorite celebrities and stay in touch with friends you don't see everyday. By shifting the focus from lame ass photo albums (ahem, FB) to what is actually happening in your life, Twitter has revolutionized the way people stay connected online. All in all, it's a pretty awesome development in our often-disappointing internet culture. Which is more than what I can say for Chatroulette; forget idle hands, web-cams are the devil's tools.

Desperation aside, there are a few issues that arise with the relationships that exist on Twitter. Firstly, I should declare that some of the kindest, funniest and sweetest people I know (of), I have met on Twitter. However, I wouldn't necessarily go as far as to call my "followers" friends. On the other hand, what is a friend? Is it someone who knows what's going on in your life, understands how you feel while stuck in traffic and is aware of which @PostSecrets you identify with? Life becomes confusing when the line that separates the cyber world from the real world is blurred, leaving one to ponder whether all these social networks are disfiguring our social skills in ways we have yet to realize.

That'll be all for now,

S.

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